


Insurance

by rudbeckia



Series: Random Worlds [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen, OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 17:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia
Summary: Hux is selling something Ben Solo needs.





	Insurance

“Good morning, how may I help you today?”

As the door chime stilled in the air, a young potential client frowned at a slender redheaded salesman who fake-smiled and addressed him in a tone that bordered ingratiating and sarcastic. Irritated already, he shook unruly hair from his face and considered walking out, but this was the last office in town and he needed what they were offering in big, black letters on the red sign outside. He took a deep breath, chanted internally to calm his anger and aimed his words above the head of the man whose name badge labelled him _Armitage_.

“I need to buy insurance for my truck. Fully comp. Starting right now.”

“Ah!” The man’s smile showed white teeth: pointed canines and sharp incisors that fitted together with barely a gap. “Then please sit down and we can discuss your needs. Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“What?” 

“Coffee? Sit? Needs?” Armitage raised an eyebrow and smiled harder. This kid was clueless and could earn him a fair whack of commission if he played the client just right. And if he had money. Armitage got up and fetched his new best friend a chair and a cup of coffee from the pod machine, asking over his shoulder what kind of drink he’d like. On return with a frothy mochacchino, he leaned across the pale veneer of the desk and offered a handshake. 

“I’m Armitage Hux and I’m general insurance executive here at First Order Indemnity. Now, would you mind if I ask a few questions just to ascertain which policy would best suit your requirements? First, what’s your name?”  
“Ben. Um, Ben Solo.” Ben Solo sipped his coffee and made a face. Armitage smiled.  
“Ben Solo. Okay. Is that your full name, mister Solo? Can I call you Ben?”  
“Ugh. Here, gimme the keyboard. You’ll never spell it right and I don’t have all day. And yes, call me Ben.”

Armitage scrabbled at the keyboard but Ben was too insistent and he didn’t want to risk losing a sale by indulging his territorial instinct to snatch the hardware back and slap the guy’s hands.  
“There.” The keyboard was returned. Armitage read the screen and laughed.  
“Benjamin Naberrie Bail Organa-Solo! I see your point. Thank you. Date of birth?”

The remainder of the personal questions informed Armitage that Ben was a little younger than him but not out of range, in good general health with no eye trouble, lived in a nice part of town with his parents and had a claim history with the usual range of dings and dents from unwise manoeuvres in car-parks and sloppy attention to braking. He could easily add twenty percent for the claim history and another fifteen for the client’s desperation. 

_Multiply by one point three five and eight percent is mine that makes—_

“Can we hurry this along? I really need insurance for my truck. Now.”

“Yes! Yes of course.” _Make that one point four._ “Now, the vehicle. Registration?”  
“Uh, YT1 300 F,” replied Ben. Armitage entered the registration and frowned.  
“Oh that’s… that’s a Corellian _Falcon._ An old one at that! We don’t really insure vintage vehicles. Have you tried _Alliance Insurers_? They have a specialist policy that—“

Ben snapped, "YES!" and Armitage jerked back. “Yes. And no. No they won’t insure it. It was my father’s and he… well. He’s not the most careful owner.”

 _One point six._ Armitage smiled and raised his hands. “Okay, Ben. A few more details and I’ll see what I can do. It might have to be referred to the underwriters, _Snoke Supreme Incorporated,_ but they rarely refuse outright. When did your father sign the truck over to you?”

Ben looked furtive. “He, um, didn’t. Not exactly. He’s had it just sitting in the garage so I, um,” Armitage could have laughed at the way Ben leaned forward, shoulders taut, and searched the corners of the office for a believable lie. He supplied one.  
“You decided to take it out for a drive, blast the cobwebs off the cylinder heads and sort out a policy so that you could chauffeur your dad around in it? And you need the insurance urgently just _in case_ you have a prang on your way to pick him up?”  
“Yes! Yes! That is _exactly_ what I did!” Ben collapsed back into the chair in relief.  
“Well,” Armitage grinned. “What a nice surprise for him when he finds out!”  
“Ah, hah, it’ll be a surprise all right.”

__

_One point eight five._

Armitage turned the monitor away from Ben and made a show of tapping his pen while waiting although the word _rejected_ had flashed up almost immediately. He had to think fast.  
“Huh. I can’t offer you fully comp but would third party, fire and theft suffice?”  
“What?” Ben genuinely looked confused.  
“It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s legal, and the best we can do.” Armitage tapped at his keyboard again. “Also if you take a voluntary excess it smoothes the process and reduces your premium. Shall we say, two thousand?”

“WHAT?” Ben was on his feet and the chair toppled backwards, bouncing once on the carpet tiles.  
“Oh. Too high?” Armitage tapped again. “If we drop the excess to fifteen hundred your premium would be…” _oh fuck he’s going to lose it and throw something._ “Let’s see, um, nine hundred and fifty-eight.”  
Ben looked surprised and righted his chair. “Oh? That’s way less than—“  
“Per month, Ben.”

Ben gaped for a moment then sat back and covered his eyes. “Fuck. I may as well change my name, get in the blasted _Falcon_ and drive. He’s going to kill me.”  
Armitage knew when a sale was dead. He sighed. “You know, we do a great line in life cover. Can I give you my number and a quote?”


End file.
